Sunday, December 06, 2009

My Week In Tweets: November 29 - December 5

Should picking out a user name for Google Wave be this stressful??
8:48 AM Nov 29th from web

Old Navy on the Sunday after Thanksgiving looks like its been RANSACKED!
11:32 AM Nov 29th from UberTwitter

Oh Target - you are like a tonic for my ravaged soul. #retailtherapy
11:57 AM Nov 29th from UberTwitter

Can someone explain to me why no one is carrying mistletoe this year????
12:24 PM Nov 29th from UberTwitter

Is a diet of melba toast, pimento cheese, wine & coke zero cherry (with the occasional chicken wing thrown in for good measure) sustainable?
1:04 PM Nov 29th from web

I went to download Bad Romance. Somehow I wound up downloading all of The Fame Monster - Deluxe Version. My iPod is oozing Lady Gaga.
6:21 PM Nov 29th from web

Oh me. It's been a rather surreal day and the night is not looking any less Dali-esque.
8:18 PM Nov 29th from web

Wait - Dali was a surrealist - right? If not - forgive my failed art analogies.....
8:18 PM Nov 29th from web

I'm a mistress at the art of passive-aggressive.....
10:09 PM Nov 29th from web

Dear Monday: Bite me. xoxo Rougie
10:37 AM Nov 30th from web

I don't think I've ever been happier talking to Citibank. #finallyclosingmyaccountfortheloveofgod
10:52 AM Nov 30th from web

19 minutes and I've closed ONE of FIVE accounts. #citibanksucks
11:05 AM Nov 30th from web

I have to call SEPARATE people to close each account. Thanks Citi - for making it so damn easy.
11:06 AM Nov 30th from web

28 minutes and the second account is closed....I feel a little weak-kneed.
11:15 AM Nov 30th from web

Does anybody else not give a giant crap that Chelsea Clinton is engaged?
1:31 PM Nov 30th from web

Once a month you'll hear this from me: OMFG spreadsheets are making me one crabby, stabby ass mothereffer.
1:47 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter

Need it to rain? Just ask me to wash my car and/or get my haircut. It will rain. I guarantee it.
2:34 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter

Dear Tivo: What in my previous viewing history makes you think I'd like "Clash of the Choirs?" Seriously? xoxo rougie #WTF
4:26 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter

Coiffed and curly. Also? Woop Woop.
6:10 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter

Serving wine at a bakery is wrong because OMFG those cakes and pies look extra scrumptious.
6:14 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter

Watching the Grinch. #itsofficiallytheholidays
8:04 PM Nov 30th from web

I'd give my left tit for a Diet Coke right now.
11:26 AM Dec 1st from UberTwitter

Ok - maybe not my left tit. Maybe my left pinky. Or left pinky toe.
11:27 AM Dec 1st from UberTwitter

Holy effing Hell I need a drink. Or I'd like to erase the last hour of my life. Either or.
12:30 PM Dec 1st from UberTwitter

Stabby.Stabby.Stabby.Stabby.Stabby. And I have no intention of ever taking my PJs or this fleece robe off. EVER.
4:59 PM Dec 1st from web

I'm generally a nice & understanding person but I'm about to open up a can of WHOOP ASS on someone shortly. Sloppiness is making me MAD.
5:42 PM Dec 1st from web

Also? Please don't lie to me. Ok? I didn't fall of the turnip truck yesterday....
5:43 PM Dec 1st from web

So yeah - it's not a Tuesday night if I don't eat my weight in chicken wings. Crap - it's not a night period.....
9:32 PM Dec 1st from UberTwitter

Fried pickles? GENIUS!!!!!!
9:53 PM Dec 1st from UberTwitter

Too lazy to grab my umbrella so today I'll be playing the role of wet, bedraggled dog. It's a good look I tell ya.
10:44 AM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

Fire alarm at hotel going off. Seriously universe?
8:06 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

Fire Department (and by extension hot firemen) en route. I'm not wearing any make-up. #bitememurphy
8:12 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

And if we do have to evacuate? I'm so bringing my wine.
8:12 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

False alarm. Relieved. However disappointed that I'm not living Donna Martin's life.
8:31 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

Just looked up from my blog post and Wisc is leading Duke by 7. WTF?
9:26 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

Bob Knight and Brent Musberger on ESPN. Is this college basketball or an adult diaper commercial?
9:31 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

Probably should have not just said: "I'm pretty easy" in front of German tourists at hotel bar.
9:36 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

For the record, it was in reply to the bartender who asked if I minded using the same glass.
9:37 PM Dec 2nd from UberTwitter

After Tweeting about Donna Martin, I dreampt that I was one of the 90210 gang and we all sat around eating pie together.
6:16 AM Dec 3rd from web

Seriously though - who eats that much pie?
6:16 AM Dec 3rd from web

And no - we can't discuss what this says about my subconscious.
6:17 AM Dec 3rd from web

Apparently I totally failed to notice the GIANT stain on the hem of my dress. A wet washcloth did not help.
7:44 AM Dec 3rd from web

No other dress AND I have 4 meetings and a dinner tonight. For work. You know - so I don't want to look like Pigpen from the Peanuts. FML
7:45 AM Dec 3rd from web

Dear Universe: Are you telling me that I *hafta* go shopping? xoxo Rougie
7:46 AM Dec 3rd from web

Good news. Nobody has noticed the stain. Just the fact that I am wearing a pretty and festive red dress.
9:59 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter

Dear Universe: OMG THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for street parking in downtown Greenville. I love you too! Xoxo Rougie
11:54 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter

Oh to be in an office again. The flourescent lights. The buzz of the copier. The 4pm trip to the vending machine. Sigh.
4:13 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter

Best part of baked potato? The skin. Worst part of rack of lamb? Mint jelly. Makes it all possible? Wine.
8:20 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter

I just unsubscribed from about 15 email lists. Utterly liberating. #perksofinsomnia
2:52 AM Dec 4th from UberTwitter

How do *intense marriage counseling* and "Here honey - take $5mm to stay with me" work together exactly?
7:36 AM Dec 4th from web

Or is the payment the counseling?
7:36 AM Dec 4th from web

And for the record, I am so sick of Tiger Woods and the not-so-shocking fact that he couldn't keep it in his pants. Not news people.
7:40 AM Dec 4th from web

Oh Adam Lambert. You are ABSOLUTELY here for my entertainment.
11:11 AM Dec 4th from UberTwitter

Eff you Flint Street and your poorly placed loading dock.
11:38 AM Dec 4th from UberTwitter

Just got kissed under the mistletoe.
12:41 PM Dec 4th from UberTwitter

HALLELUJAH! Free at last. Free at last. Thank you sweetbabyjeebus - I am free from the bondage of @Citibank. SUCK IT CITI!
3:50 PM Dec 4th from web

How can you charge me a service fee on an account I'VE ALREADY CLOSED? Really @Citibank??? REALLY?
9:48 AM Dec 5th from web

Have to go run errands. Do you think people will believe my super cute Old Navy plaid PJs are really flannel madras pants?
9:59 AM Dec 5th from web

My mad phat jump rope skillz drew several unsolicited compliments at the gym. Holla yo! #badassintraining
4:35 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

I just bitchslapped the Hell out of 2 inboxes. It's like an email enema. #ocd
6:09 PM Dec 5th from web

I know I'm getting old when the fact that we're not even leaving to go out until 10pm has me wanting to crawl under the covers.
6:13 PM Dec 5th from web

Of course, we're "pre-gaming" at 9 so maybe I'm not *that* old.
6:13 PM Dec 5th from web

New drinking game: how many Coke Zero Cherries can I chug before we leave for the club at 10? #signsimgettingeffingold
7:39 PM Dec 5th from web

My skinny jeans are trying to tell me something. What's that? Stop eating so damn much? Gotcha.
7:50 PM Dec 5th from web

I take my 80s nights way. Too. Seriously.
8:29 PM Dec 5th from web

99 Luftbalons. Legwarmers. Jelly bracelets. #lovethe80s
10:31 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

Crap. Went to get my picture taken with 80s Santa but he blew me off to go breakdance. WTF Saint Nick???
11:42 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

Ok. Found Santa. Snapped photo except Holy Hell I look like a goddamn pufferfish.
11:48 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

PS it's the Red Bull talking. Swear.
11:48 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

DJ just called me Material Girl. Sigh.
11:53 PM Dec 5th from UberTwitter

Holy Hell. @lilsaej has NEVER seen St. Elmos Fire or Fast Times @ Ridgemont High. Shall we educate her tweeps?
12:00 AM Dec 6th from UberTwitter

Holy Hell bitch. Get. Off. My. Stage.
12:45 AM Dec 6th from UberTwitter

Oh dear. That last Tweet didn't sound so nice - did it????

1 comments:

Karen from Mentor said...

Honey? That was *ONE* week??....rofl...

holy hell.