My Week In Tweets: December 20 - December 26

Reading local paper. Thought I saw an ad "To Live Naughty." Looked closer - it actually says "Live Nativity." WHOOPS.
8:28 AM Dec 20th from web

If this doesn't make you grin, you have a cold heart & no soul (thanks to @MarshallKarp for making me grin!)
10:06 AM Dec 20th from web

So far the biggest section (by far) in my 100 Things: "I'm Not Weird. I'm Just a Little Eccentric."
10:40 AM Dec 20th from web

At some point this weekend I am going to have to get out of my pajamas. I'm not looking forward to it.
12:20 PM Dec 20th from web

I'm at 89. This shit is way harder than I ever imagined. Especially given that I pretty much spill my soul to complete strangers.
12:50 PM Dec 20th from web

Off to @felinefrenzy's Christmas tea and cookie swap. Just realized it's the first time I've left my house in over 48 hours. #imarecluse
1:49 PM Dec 20th from web

Romantic comedies make me stabby because let's face it: that shit doesn't happen in the real world.
6:38 PM Dec 20th from web

The day a man sends me 100 roses b/c he thought of me 100 times the night before, is the day I sprout wings & fly. Or drop dead from shock.
6:39 PM Dec 20th from web

Also: no one looks like Patrick Dempsey in real life. Except Patrick Dempsey.
6:40 PM Dec 20th from web

I'd kill for Chinese food. Sadly - I am not driving on iced over roads and no one in this town delivers. FML.
7:17 PM Dec 20th from web

Dear Universe: Just 1 Sunday night that didn't suck complete and utter ass would be lovely. Thanks. xoxo rougie
7:49 PM Dec 20th from web

Dear Sunday: Thanks for sucker-punching me in the kidneys. AND my lower back. I love you too. xoxo rougie
9:00 PM Dec 20th from web

Dear Sunday: The gloves are off. It's about to get ugly. Really fucking ugly. xoxo rougie
9:06 PM Dec 20th from web

Dear Monday: Please try not to suck so bad because I don't think I can handle 2 really crappy days in a row. xoxo Rougie
9:22 AM Dec 21st from web

Dear Monday: please start cooperating before I have to kick your ass. Xoxo rougie
11:11 AM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Dear Monday: Thanks for lunch at Capital Grille. That sirloin rocked. It was much needed and much appreciated. Xoxo Rougie
2:35 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Off to the shooting range shortly so I can learn how guns work & how to fire one. Am over-the-moon w/excitement. Like a kid on Xmas morning.
2:37 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Thinking my Lily Pulitzer shift dress and Kate Spade Mary Janes might be a *bit much* for the shooting range.
4:11 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

I don't think Charles Bronson ever wore Kate Spade. Or Lily for that matter. Or a dress. Or heels.
4:21 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

At the range. I am obscenely excited. Might be an overabundance of testosterone.
4:29 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

This is so. Fucking. Cool.
4:40 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Had way too much fun at the shooting range. OMG y'all - I'm on a high right now. Is that wrong?
6:27 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Anyone have a picture of Winston Wolfe's tattoo in Pulp Fiction? Trying to talk The Kaiser into getting inked - this is what he wants.
7:56 PM Dec 21st from UberTwitter

Dear Wednesday: One semi-decent day this week is all I ask. Pretty please? With sugar on top? xoxo rougie
7:45 AM Dec 22nd from web

I am heading to the post office early because I refuse to stand in line behind 18 gajillion people. It's busier there than tax time.
7:59 AM Dec 22nd from web

So I won't spend 10 minutes in line waiting behind someone but I'll get to the post off 10 minutes early and stand around. #irony
8:28 AM Dec 22nd from UberTwitter

Also? There's already someone in front of me. #seriousirony
8:28 AM Dec 22nd from UberTwitter

What? It's only Tuesday. FML.
8:59 AM Dec 22nd from web

Just stepped in a pile of fresh cat puke. Welcome home and oh yeah eff you too Tuesday. xoxo rougie
8:34 PM Dec 22nd from web

I suppose it could have been worse. He could have puked in my bed and not on the wood floor. Still - i was wearing my $9 socks...
8:39 PM Dec 22nd from web

Has anybody had a blog post just DYING to come out but then it doesn't fucking co-operate???
8:55 PM Dec 22nd from web

Move over Charles Bronson - I do this shit in heels and pearls.
9:06 PM Dec 22nd from TwitPic

Thomas Crown Affair is one sexy effing flik. HOLY HELL.
9:26 PM Dec 22nd from web

Dear Wednesday: I'd officially like to marry you and have your babies. MWAH! Xoxo rougie
8:31 AM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Dear Wednesday: Stop it already. You're giving me chills. Xoxo Rougie
9:37 AM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Raise your hand if you're also sick of Russian Roulette by Rhianna. Cuz I. So. Am.
9:41 AM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Would you people leave me and my banana (tree) alone. Thanks a million. xoxo Rougie
2:13 PM Dec 23rd from web

Hey you. Yeah - you: moron driving the Dodge. Rougie's #1 driving tip is LOOK BEFORE YOU PULL OUT you giant asshat. Thanks.
4:06 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Dear Wednesday You've been awesome. Please don't fuck it up & stab me in the back. I don't like being stabbed or being stabby. xo rougie
6:34 PM Dec 23rd from web

Snow+Open toed heels = totally dumbass move.
7:28 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Sitting at a sports bar watching Sonny With a Chance on Disney. WTF??
8:35 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

And Funky Cold Medina is playing on the radio. I don't even know what to say.....
8:37 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

So @lilsaej has discovered how to totally mask the taste and smell of Everclear. Get this girl a Nobel Prize STAT!!!
9:37 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Airing of grievances. #festivus #catharsis
10:21 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

I downloaded UberTwitter for @GrissWarhound. As soon as gets over his Twitterphobia, be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
11:06 PM Dec 23rd from UberTwitter

Ok. I'm getting out of my PJs and putting on *real clothes* But I'm not putting on a bra dammit.
1:12 PM Dec 24th from web

Holy Hell! The entirety of my wee little town is at the grocery store. FML and don't you people plan better???
1:50 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

And for the record, I'm here because I'm having an impromptu party on Saturday. It's not like I don't already have my turkey and shit....
1:51 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

Holy Hell. I might. Just. Lose. MY EVER LOVING SHIT.
2:12 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

Saw signs for party trays from Ann's House of Nuts. More like Rougie's Padded Room of Totally Insane. #FML
2:19 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

Trip to the grocery store the day before Christmas has sucked every last ounce of holiday spirit from my body.
2:29 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

I'm about to pop my crockpot's cherry with @ModernMatriarch's beer chicken.
3:05 PM Dec 24th from web

As an instant gratification girl, discovering that maybe a crockpot/slow cooker wasn't such a wise idea #atleast2morehourstogo
5:30 PM Dec 24th from web

I'm the only person I know who can't appreciate a slow cooker for what it is. I mean I shouldn't be checking it every 15 minutes should I?
7:08 PM Dec 24th from web

Can I RT myself from November? B/c Holy Hell homemade caramel: Bitch Homemade pudding: Bitch Homemade caramel pudding: bitchbitchbitchbitch
10:04 PM Dec 24th from web

And once again the 1st batch of caramel is a fail. Dear Thanksgiving: I don't need a rerun. xoxo rougie
10:10 PM Dec 24th from web

So what happens to caramel cream pie if you can't get the !*#?!*# sugar to ?*#$?! Caramelize????
10:39 PM Dec 24th from UberTwitter

All right. I've got some kind of cream pie. Santa? Now it's up to you. Merry Christmas...
10:55 PM Dec 24th from web

Something just fell off the roof. Either the snow is still melting or Santa's in traction.
4:29 AM Dec 25th from UberTwitter

My crockpot enjoyed her maiden voyage so much we're already on round 2 w/ @ModernMatriarch's It's-All-Fun-&-Games-Til-You-Lose-An-Eye Chili
7:53 AM Dec 25th from web

Just discovered SBUX Via. Life changing. And yet - at this price per cup, at what point does it just make sense to buy a damn coffee pot?
8:09 AM Dec 25th from web

My basement is flooded. Merry effing Christmas.
11:18 AM Dec 25th from web

Watching inches of stagnant, dirty water pump out of my basement while my cat HOWLS at the top of his lungs for my attention. Seriously?
11:37 AM Dec 25th from web

On the plus side, my house smells heavenly thanks to @ModernMatriarch's chili simmering in my crockpot.
11:41 AM Dec 25th from web

Well - I suppose if I was going to drop and break a bottle of something, at least peppermint extract is holiday appropriate.
1:26 PM Dec 25th from web

In other news, my sinuses are totally clear.
1:26 PM Dec 25th from web

Let's just add a 3rd degree burn on my finger to the list of things I've gotten today. Merry effing Christmas to me.
1:53 PM Dec 25th from web

Dear Insomnia: you're like the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks a million. Xoxo Rougie
5:14 AM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

The nice thing about heading off to the spa is that you really don't have to pull your shit together.
8:12 AM Dec 26th from web

Dear Self Righteous Day After Christmas Exercisers: Bite me. Xoxo Rougie
11:58 AM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

41 days until #twitHER. FTW!
2:13 PM Dec 26th from web

Anyone have any suggestions for a homegrown version of kitty lithium b/c OMFG my cat is in-fucking-sane.
3:55 PM Dec 26th from web

@lilsaej: "But you've got to take care of me." Sumo: "That's a cry for help." Me: Sigh. (Reaches for my beer....)
7:29 PM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

@Lilsaej: "Because it's us. Because I know people and you're hot." OMG I want to marry this girl. (Or just drink a crapload of beer w/ her)
8:21 PM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

OMFG - had no idea red spandex jumpsuits were *still* in style.
9:58 PM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

I want longer pants.
10:40 PM Dec 26th from UberTwitter

Yeah...as always...it was quite a week, wasn't it kids?