Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Week In Tweets: December 13 - December 19

Spoke to another runner while getting coffee in the lobby. Suddenly thoughts of the Outer Banks Half Marathon are swirling in my head.
7:23 AM Dec 13th from web

Except OMFG I just said I would never run another half marathon again. Or at least not within the next 3 months.
7:24 AM Dec 13th from web

Seriously - would someone come here and beat me repeatedly on the head with a croquet mallet?
7:25 AM Dec 13th from web

So my masseuse also ran the half marathon yesterday. Poor girl - who's going to give her a massage?
9:18 AM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Is there a cat in my life that ISN'T flipping HOOOOWWWWLING for me right now?? Um....NO.
4:26 PM Dec 13th from web

Off to brave Wal-Mart on a Sunday. Part of me would rather run another half marathon. I think it'd be easier.
5:15 PM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Reason 1 to have skipped WMT: dumb broad yakking on cell, blocking traffic while waiting for someone to pull out. God forbid she walks 6 ft
5:27 PM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Reason 2: jar of broken pickles in my parking spot. If I get a flat I'm hunting that bitch down.
5:28 PM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Reason 3: used handiwipe in my cart.
5:28 PM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Spotting the bumper sticker "coon hunters do it all night long" has eased some of the sting however.
5:29 PM Dec 13th from UberTwitter

Suck it 10-digit dialing. You make no fucking sense.
10:27 AM Dec 14th from web

Holiday cards completed: 0 Holiday cards to go: 167 Let the carpal tunnel begin!! WHOOT!
11:23 AM Dec 14th from web

Holiday cards completed: Still 0. But the "To Go" number is down to 159. Also? I have a killer spreadsheet to make labels. #OCD
12:21 PM Dec 14th from web

It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens YO!
1:19 PM Dec 14th from web

Just discovered the envelopes for our holiday cards are SELF ADHESIVE!! Christmas miracles DO exist. Thank you sweetbabyjeebus!!!
2:02 PM Dec 14th from web

Holiday Cards Completed: 30 Holiday Cards To Go: 129 My Sanity Level: waning steadily
3:13 PM Dec 14th from web

Metallic ink pens: oooohh so pretty. But what an effing mess.
4:32 PM Dec 14th from web

'Tis the season to be charitable. Just made 2 donations and feeling GOOD.
8:00 PM Dec 14th from web

Holiday Cards Completed: Not even 60. #giantmothereffingfail
8:51 PM Dec 14th from web

Run-DMC ought to sing more Christmas carols YO!
8:13 AM Dec 15th from web

I just realized "latkes" rhyme with "vodka." Happy Hanukkah!
8:47 AM Dec 15th from web

99 Luftbalons. 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. 99 holiday card envelopes labeled (2x) and stamped. 99 holiday cards to go...
9:33 AM Dec 15th from web

Meanwhile I've received half a dozen e-cards...am thinking this is a concept to explore next year....
9:33 AM Dec 15th from web

Holiday cards completed: 95 Holiday cards remaining: 64 Likelihood I'll resume my life by lunchtime: better than average
10:44 AM Dec 15th from web

Lady Gaga on iPod means I might tell someone I want their leather studded kiss in the sand instead of wishing them Happy Holidays.
11:51 AM Dec 15th from web

Holiday cards remaining: 0 Holiday cards completed: 159 Drinks in my future: Directly proportional to the # of cards completed
12:11 PM Dec 15th from web

Reminiscing about Prom. My prom sucked balls. Although I looked like a Robert Palmer girl. A fat Robert Palmer girl.
5:39 PM Dec 15th from UberTwitter

What kind of asshat has their rear windshield wiper on when it's not even raining? Seriously.
7:38 AM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

People driving Nissans are pissing me off this morning.
7:47 AM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

Dear Canadian friends: is it worth me hauling my cookies to south Charlotte to eat at Extreme Pita? Xo rougie
10:43 AM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

12:30 doctor's appointment is really fucking up my eating schedule today.
10:43 AM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

Holy Hell the mall is crowded. Don't you people have jobs? Or if you're unemployed, shouldn't you not be shopping??
1:47 PM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

Dear Chik-Fil-A: don't ever change. Xoxo Rougie
1:51 PM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

It seems appropriate somehow that the 2 stores I need are on polar opposite ends of the mall. Also? I suddenly want a cookie cake.
1:56 PM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

Gift Cards, Promotions and Discounts Oh My!
3:10 PM Dec 16th from UberTwitter

Happy day when I unpack 4 bottles of Gun Bun into the cellar. And 2 bottles of 2005 Syrah? SA-WEEEEEEEEET!
9:22 PM Dec 16th from web

I just discovered that a corckscrew is an excellent tool for cleaning a menorah. How appropriate.
6:57 AM Dec 17th from UberTwitter

Longest. Conference Call. EVER.
10:26 AM Dec 17th from web

Trainer put me through Boot Camp today. Because - you know - I didn't run a Half Marathon within the last week or anything.
11:50 AM Dec 17th from UberTwitter

Dear Cat: Why is it that every time I sit down to eat, you decide THAT'S the perfect time to jump in my lap? xoxo Rougie
1:25 PM Dec 17th from web

My plan to make Dulche de Leche Crispies is not looking good since I can't find effing Dulche de Leche in my wee little town.
1:26 PM Dec 17th from web

If you were going to add something to a traditional Rice Krispie Treat to make it more festive and/or over the top YUMS what would you add?
3:24 PM Dec 17th from web

Dear Weather Peeps: If you fuck up my party tomorrow w/ your planned "wintery mix" I'm gonna be pissed. So please don't. Thanks. xoxo Rougie
3:52 PM Dec 17th from web

I've gone through 2.5 pounds of butter tonight. Anyone want a Lipitor chaser with their Christmas cookies???
9:36 PM Dec 17th from web

How does one follow 20 dozen cookies? Why with 4 pounds of maple-soy snack mix. OF COURSE. (And another glass of wine...)
10:54 PM Dec 17th from web

My cat is looking at me like I am insane. I am inclined to agree.
11:04 PM Dec 17th from web

PS Do I tackle the 2 pounds of homemade pimento cheese tonight WITH wine or wait til the morning?
11:04 PM Dec 17th from web

I'd like to kick the shit out of my trainer right now but OMFG I can't move. OOOOWWWWWWWW.
6:39 AM Dec 18th from web

This wintery mix can SUCK IT.
8:15 AM Dec 18th from web

It's wrong to fry latkes in bacon grease - right?
8:39 AM Dec 18th from web

In general - is it wrong to have so much pork at a Hanukkah party? #bacon #salami
8:45 AM Dec 18th from TwitPic

SCORE! @allbacon is my 200th follower. My life is complete!
9:13 AM Dec 18th from web

While the rest of town stocks up on milk, eggs and bread, I'm at the liquor store. #priorities
10:16 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

Trying not to be judgy but somehow the combo of walker, checkbook, cheap wrapping paper & the case of Marlboro REDS is leaving me no choice.
10:29 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

Also - if this old dude cuts in front of me I'm gonna have to take him down.
10:30 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

No comment on the request for the *giant* bottle of laxative from the walker/checkbook/cigarette lady. None whatsoever.
10:33 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

Shopping for a white elephant gift is proving to be a challenge. Whose bright idea was this anyways???
10:47 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

And why can't you find a naked lady lamp when you really need one?
10:49 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

So 2009 Holiday Barbie totally looks like a drag queen. #justsayin
10:54 AM Dec 18th from UberTwitter

Adult Rice Krispie treats: add 1/2 cup Bailey's to the marshmallow & 1/2 cup chopped toffee w/ the cereal. OMFG INSANELY DELICIOUS!!!
11:37 AM Dec 18th from web

Dear Mother Nature: Kiss my ass and Oh Yeah - FUCK YOU TOO. xoxo Rougie
5:42 PM Dec 18th from web

4 intrepid guests and 5 more en route...#thispartyisgonnahappenifiteffingkillsme
7:40 PM Dec 18th from web

So apparently *only* 9 people can create quite a mess. And someone drank all the Coke Zero (but left me Captain so...um...yeah...ok).
8:32 AM Dec 19th from web

I now have a flask. It says: "Thank God I'm Fabulous." Fuck yeah. Bring it BITCHES. #twitHer
8:47 AM Dec 19th from web

Nothing like a sink full of dirty dishes to make a girl want to crawl back into bed.
9:37 AM Dec 19th from web

So far today: flasks, drunk bitches, vodka. The 1 Saturday morning my dad is on Twitter. Sigh. It's all puppy dogs & fairies going forward.
10:07 AM Dec 19th from web

Bare midriffs. Knee socks. Contrived story lines. Hair gel. 40yos playing college students. Oh 90210 - I heart you so.
11:25 AM Dec 19th from UberTwitter

Watching The Holiday. Premise for this movie is so unbelieveable that even my suspension of disbelief is challenged.
3:24 PM Dec 19th from web

Just updated my Daily Dose of Blog. Lots of love to my #twitHER girls! MWAH Sugars!!!
4:59 PM Dec 19th from web

Wow. Working on my 100 Things (to cement my "Real Blogger" status). This shit is hard.
5:43 PM Dec 19th from web

"Coach Carr - step away from the underage girls." #meangirls
6:28 PM Dec 19th from web

Working on my 100 Things. Anything you really want to know?
7:28 PM Dec 19th from web

All I can say is that after reading through these, I'm glad this week is over. My Lord!!!

2 comments:

Ron Ruiter said...

I just want to thank you for all the humor you bring into my life with your writings on here.

Karen from Mentor said...

"Watching The Holiday. Premise for this movie is so unbelieveable that even my suspension of disbelief is challenged"

Switch over to Godzilla meets Mothra....it'll put suspension of disbelief into perspective for you.