Monday, October 05, 2009

Deep Fried Fair

I love county fairs. LOVE 'em. Which might surprise you seeing as at one time in my life I was a City Girl but actually I grew up going to the Dutchess County Fair every summer and to this day the right combination of pork products, fry oil, livestock and stuffed animals makes me kind of weak in the knees.

Saturday a group of us went to the Cleveland County Fair. I went a few years ago and I was especially excited to go back because OMG I have been DYING to go to a tractor pull and it was at the Cleveland County Fair 2 years ago that I attended my first (and heretofore only) tractor pull and because I have insane OCD am me, I actually looked up the Fair schedule a few days before and WHAT THE HELL Y'ALL: No flipping tractor pull. Seriously. I. Was. Devastated. And while I was pleased to see that there was a motorcycle demolition derby scheduled for Saturday night, it did not quite ease the pain of no tractor pull. I know. I need help. Clearly.

So Saturday was an awesome day weather wise and we got to the fair mid afternoon and got decent parking (on concrete - me and my new (used) car thank you very much) and OMG Y'ALL - big sign posted upon entering: DEMO DERBY CANCELLED. WTF Fair Peeps?! SERIOUSLY? Are you trying to kill me? I was miffed for about 2 seconds and then we entered the fair and it was like walking into a giant vat of fry oil and I immediately forgot my vehicular entertainment woes. Seriously - if you want something fried, go to a county fair - or perhaps specifically The Cleveland County Fair although really I think the "anything and everything fried" syndrome exists at county fairs nationwide. And if it's not fried, it's smothered in cheese or chocolate. And sometimes it's both - fried and smothered that is, not smothered in cheese and chocolate. Here's what I remember foodwise:

* Italian Sausage
* Polish Sausage
* Frito Pie
* Vinegar Fries
* Curly Fries (chili and cheese optional)
* Ribbon Fries
* Cheeseburgers
* Cheesesteak
* Ribs
* Corn Dogs
* Hot Dogs
* Chicken Nuggets
* Chicken Tenders
* Chicken Pitas
* Country Ham Biscuits
* Pickle Chips
* Roasted Corn
* Apple Dumplings
* Fried Dough
* Candy Apples
* Caramel Apples
* Soft Serve Ice Cream
* Old Fashioned Ice Cream
* Cotton Candy
* Fried Pies
* Doughnuts
* Fried Oreos
* Fried Candy Bars
* $4 Cream Soda made with all natural cane sugar
* Sundrop Slushies
* Peach Nehi Slushies

Did I leave anything out? It's possible. And I won't give you the bite by bite detail of what our group consumed - although I will give 2 very enthusiastic thumbs up to the fried pickle chips and the peach Nehi slushi...

Anyways, after 1 round of our gorgefest, we strolled through one of the the exhibit halls and eyed the oversized veggies, the various crafts and dioramas, and this utterly creepy exhibit:

Then we wandered through the Midway and Lilsaej won an adorable stuffed puppy playing Mash-A-Mouse and I blew through $5 of quarters in about 3 minutes playing the color game. So I don't know what YOU all call it but I call it the color game. You know - the one where they have 20 or 30 different colors listed around the outside of the booth-tent thingy (oh...the joy of writing blog posts on Sunday night. My intelligence is overwhelming y'all. Booth-tent thingy? Sigh...). Anyways - there are a bazillion colors and you put a quarter on whichever one you think is going to win (or in my case you play 5 colors at a time) and then the Carnie spins a big wheel and then puts a tin cup in the center of the spinning wheel and...OUT POPS A WHITE RAT and then he runs around the wheel and whichever hole he crawls into is the color that wins. And I know I did a crappy job of explaining it but oh look - if you Google "rat color carnival game" this comes up and so maybe you get what I am talking about. Also? I totally took a picture of the rat:

I also took a picture of Lilsaej doing her best Dirty Harry impersonation:

And then we wandered over to the livestock area and OMG y'all...chickens totally smell, and we saw a 2200 pound horse which I did not take a picture of but I did take a picture of the peeps because OMG - is there anything cuter??

After the animals, we broke for round 2 of Deep Fried Everything (washed down with peach Nehi slushies) and then hit the back half of the Midway where we ran into some very intense Carnies (I mean - VERY intense - even by Carnie standards), I paid $2 to see some "bizarre" animals including a Zonkey, a 5-legged sheep, and the world's largest swamp rat ("Alive. Alive. Smell Them To Know They're Alive." - this was on repeat over the speakers to assure us that our money was well spent.) and we played 2 hands of Bingo and lost.

We did not ride any rides although it turned out many rides weren't running - including the Ferris Wheel which was a disappointment to most of the group although not me. You can stick me on a roller coaster that goes 200MPH, spins me upside down 18 times and drops me straight down 175 feet and I won't cringe but OMG stick me in a Ferris Wheel that stops with me at the top and my wee little car starts to sway in the breeze...ACK HOLY HELL GET ME DOWN FROM HERE RIGHT NOW. So yeah. Slight fear of heights.

Anyways, we made our way to the exit just as the ENTIRE UNIVERSE was making their way in which was good because it was a full moon and I expect that the combination of a full moon, Carnies, fried (fill in the blank) and strange animals lead to some strange goings on.

Just sayin'...

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...


kyooty said...

never heard of the rat game, here they just spin a wheel for that game.

Anonymous said...

Fried dill pickle chips are the tits.