Sunday, August 30, 2009

My Week In Tweets: August 23 - August 29

Ouch. That's all.
9:21 AM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry

Just managed to get Tori Amos and Tori Spelling mixed up. Clear indicator of my mental faculties today.
11:54 AM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry

You know the difference between shopping at Banana Republic and Banana Republic Outlet? Hangers. They keep the hangers at the Outlet.
3:08 PM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry

I just bought a very happy purple coat from J. Crew. It's really super happy.
3:35 PM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry

Apparently, today is Shove-Your-Face-Sunday and I am kicking ass!
8:52 PM Aug 23rd from web

Note to self: when ripped from slumber by scary ass thunderstorm, would help if you didn't think of Poltergeist.
2:24 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

Just witnessed the biggest jackass in a pickup try to cut off another driver trying to merge over due to construction. I hate pricky drivers
9:52 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

Seriously - I want to get out of my car, beat on his window and ask him: WTF dude?
9:53 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

Sorry - traffic is making me stabby.
9:54 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

Pricky driver's spawn are ugly. And they look like heathens. Like the type of kids to drop a frozen turkey off an overpass. Or cans of SPAM.
9:56 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

Also - I'd like to know what genius decided that 10am on a Monday was a good time to shut down 1 entire lane of 74E?
10:01 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry

RT: @ModernMatriarch: Chop. Stir. Mix. is back with a Cilantro Pesto recipe from @rougeneck! http://www.chopstirmix.com/ Pls. RT
10:26 PM Aug 24th from web

[Yes. I have taken on ADDITIONAL blogging responsibilities and will occasionally be appearing with my good friend AndreaAnna over at Chop. Stir. Mix. I know this is absolutely insane seeing as I am so busy these days I am relying on guest posters to keep my blog alive (Hello Harmzie - um, where's MY graph??) but I was honored when AndreaAnna asked and I do love food and cooking so...yeah...Chop. Stir. Mix.]

Holy crap I shed a lot. I mean - like an insane amount alot.
7:57 AM Aug 25th from web

So I am curious: what exactly constitutes a *routine* stay in rehab????
2:32 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry

My cat weighs 3lbs. I believe that 2lbs. of his fluffy, white fur are currently all over my black pants.
6:05 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry

Thank you hotel that actually still leaves chocolate on the pillow.....
9:53 PM Aug 25th from web

So yeah - hotel peeps - would it have killed you to leave TWO pieces of chocolate on the pillow? Or at least one piece on each pillow?
10:06 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry

Blogger just at half my fucking post. I HATE YOU BLOGGER.
11:19 PM Aug 25th from web

Seriously - does anyone else out there ABHOR Blogger as much as I do RIGHT NOW?
11:25 PM Aug 25th from web

And before you tell me to "save as I go" - I totally did. Blogger ate my fucking post anyways.
11:26 PM Aug 25th from web

Oh SBUX Strawberry Banana Smmothie. How I've missed you so.
7:28 AM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry

Colleague told me in a meeting to "stand in the corner and look pretty." Dude, I know you were joking but...NOT FUCKING FUNNY.
9:56 AM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry

To the idiot in the 18-wheeler who just cut me off pulling into the Exxon station: Thanks asshole.
2:59 PM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry

It's official: I can not hear Please Don't Stop the Music without serious ass-shaking ensuing.... *shake* *shake* *shake*
9:11 PM Aug 26th from web

It's 9:37pm. It's too fucking late in the day for work-related shit to make me want to SLAM MY HEAD INTO THE DESK.
9:38 PM Aug 26th from web

And yet...there is a part of me that is thinking about a self-induced concussion. SIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH.
9:38 PM Aug 26th from web

It's a toss-up between alternate nostril breathing or another glass of wine.
9:40 PM Aug 26th from web

Not to sound repetitive but: STUPIDITY MAKES ME STABBY. Seriously peeps - get your shit together...puh-leeze......
9:41 PM Aug 26th from web

is putting a little more mascara on......
10:19 PM Aug 26th from web

Wickedly feisty today tweeps. Wickedly.....
9:35 AM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Citibank - you are really trying my patience. REALLY.
9:45 AM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Running late. Again.
5:57 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

@Lilsaej: "Not many women cornhole." Me: (no reply - too easy)
8:43 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Seriously @lilsaej and I are rocking our new Banana Republic dresses and leaving this little town in the dust.....
8:45 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Might be following a cross dresser or Buffalo Bill........
10:01 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Cornhole + @lilsaej =genius
10:58 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

Sorry. @lilsaej is awesome. Ignore any misleading tweets.
11:00 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

@lilsaej is a bad ass. Seriously.
11:39 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry

47 unread posts on Google Reader. I guess I know what I am doing tonight.
9:56 AM Aug 28th from web

I keep telling Baby Face his brand of snark needs to be on Twitter. He's dragging his heels. Read his musings & then tell me what you think.
11:12 AM Aug 28th from web

Really Citibank? You want to go THERE? I don't think so.
11:44 AM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry

Ok. At Subway. The consistency of the tuna looks unnatural. And oddly, the person before and after me both ordered it.
12:02 PM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry

wondering just how many unread copies of the Charlotte Business Journal I can stack in a pile? Remind me again why I subscribe?
2:05 PM Aug 28th from web

Also - why the fuck are my eyebrows turning blonde? Seriously....
2:06 PM Aug 28th from web

[FYI - this is really happening and it's really FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT.]

Has successfully closed down 2 establishments in town tonight. Should I go for a 3rd?
11:34 PM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry

Breakfast of champs: leftover arroz con pollo and Coke Zero.
9:35 AM Aug 29th from web

Dude: a toupee? In this day and age? Are you kidding me?
11:53 AM Aug 29th from web

And to add insult to injury, it's a BAD toupee. I mean, with modern technology, you think you could do a wee bit better. #justsayin
11:54 AM Aug 29th from web

All right 8.5 miles. I am about to show you who's in charge.
12:37 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry

Excerpt from email from Citibank asking me to participate in a survey: "It helps us understand what you like about banking with us..."
6:23 PM Aug 29th from web

NOTHING
6:23 PM Aug 29th from web

"...and what you think could be improved." EVERYTHING.
6:24 PM Aug 29th from web

PS Not taking the time to do THAT survey. I mean - at least if you're going to make my life miserable, do it with a sexy Aussie accent.
6:25 PM Aug 29th from web

William Powell as Nick Charles. Sigh. #timemachinefreebie
8:42 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry

thinks Nora had the right idea: fur, satin, diamonds and rye.
9:16 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry

And if that ain't they-don't-make-them-like-they-used-to-fabulous-and-glamorous, I'll totally kiss your...

3 comments:

Karen from Mentor said...

"Ok. At Subway. The consistency of the tuna looks unnatural. And oddly, the person before and after me both ordered it."

Did THEY look unnatural? Or SUPERnatural in any way?

Karen from Mentor said...

"Also - why the fuck are my eyebrows turning blonde? Seriously...."

Could be the tuna....

Karen from Mentor said...

"Has successfully closed down 2 establishments in town tonight. Should I go for a 3rd?"

Query: Did it have anything to do with superpowers generated from the unnatural tuna? Or do you think your energizer bunny like staying power came just from adding that extra layer of mascara???