Ouch. That's all.
9:21 AM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry
Just managed to get Tori Amos and Tori Spelling mixed up. Clear indicator of my mental faculties today.
11:54 AM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry
You know the difference between shopping at Banana Republic and Banana Republic Outlet? Hangers. They keep the hangers at the Outlet.
3:08 PM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry
I just bought a very happy purple coat from J. Crew. It's really super happy.
3:35 PM Aug 23rd from TwitterBerry
Apparently, today is Shove-Your-Face-Sunday and I am kicking ass!
8:52 PM Aug 23rd from web
Note to self: when ripped from slumber by scary ass thunderstorm, would help if you didn't think of Poltergeist.
2:24 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
Just witnessed the biggest jackass in a pickup try to cut off another driver trying to merge over due to construction. I hate pricky drivers
9:52 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
Seriously - I want to get out of my car, beat on his window and ask him: WTF dude?
9:53 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
Sorry - traffic is making me stabby.
9:54 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
Pricky driver's spawn are ugly. And they look like heathens. Like the type of kids to drop a frozen turkey off an overpass. Or cans of SPAM.
9:56 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
Also - I'd like to know what genius decided that 10am on a Monday was a good time to shut down 1 entire lane of 74E?
10:01 AM Aug 24th from TwitterBerry
RT: @ModernMatriarch: Chop. Stir. Mix. is back with a Cilantro Pesto recipe from @rougeneck! http://www.chopstirmix.com/ Pls. RT
10:26 PM Aug 24th from web
[Yes. I have taken on ADDITIONAL blogging responsibilities and will occasionally be appearing with my good friend AndreaAnna over at Chop. Stir. Mix. I know this is absolutely insane seeing as I am so busy these days I am relying on guest posters to keep my blog alive (Hello Harmzie - um, where's MY graph??) but I was honored when AndreaAnna asked and I do love food and cooking so...yeah...Chop. Stir. Mix.]
Holy crap I shed a lot. I mean - like an insane amount alot.
7:57 AM Aug 25th from web
So I am curious: what exactly constitutes a *routine* stay in rehab????
2:32 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry
My cat weighs 3lbs. I believe that 2lbs. of his fluffy, white fur are currently all over my black pants.
6:05 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry
Thank you hotel that actually still leaves chocolate on the pillow.....
9:53 PM Aug 25th from web
So yeah - hotel peeps - would it have killed you to leave TWO pieces of chocolate on the pillow? Or at least one piece on each pillow?
10:06 PM Aug 25th from TwitterBerry
Blogger just at half my fucking post. I HATE YOU BLOGGER.
11:19 PM Aug 25th from web
Seriously - does anyone else out there ABHOR Blogger as much as I do RIGHT NOW?
11:25 PM Aug 25th from web
And before you tell me to "save as I go" - I totally did. Blogger ate my fucking post anyways.
11:26 PM Aug 25th from web
Oh SBUX Strawberry Banana Smmothie. How I've missed you so.
7:28 AM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry
Colleague told me in a meeting to "stand in the corner and look pretty." Dude, I know you were joking but...NOT FUCKING FUNNY.
9:56 AM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry
To the idiot in the 18-wheeler who just cut me off pulling into the Exxon station: Thanks asshole.
2:59 PM Aug 26th from TwitterBerry
It's official: I can not hear Please Don't Stop the Music without serious ass-shaking ensuing.... *shake* *shake* *shake*
9:11 PM Aug 26th from web
It's 9:37pm. It's too fucking late in the day for work-related shit to make me want to SLAM MY HEAD INTO THE DESK.
9:38 PM Aug 26th from web
And yet...there is a part of me that is thinking about a self-induced concussion. SIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH.
9:38 PM Aug 26th from web
It's a toss-up between alternate nostril breathing or another glass of wine.
9:40 PM Aug 26th from web
Not to sound repetitive but: STUPIDITY MAKES ME STABBY. Seriously peeps - get your shit together...puh-leeze......
9:41 PM Aug 26th from web
is putting a little more mascara on......
10:19 PM Aug 26th from web
Wickedly feisty today tweeps. Wickedly.....
9:35 AM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Citibank - you are really trying my patience. REALLY.
9:45 AM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Running late. Again.
5:57 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
@Lilsaej: "Not many women cornhole." Me: (no reply - too easy)
8:43 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Seriously @lilsaej and I are rocking our new Banana Republic dresses and leaving this little town in the dust.....
8:45 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Might be following a cross dresser or Buffalo Bill........
10:01 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Cornhole + @lilsaej =genius
10:58 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
Sorry. @lilsaej is awesome. Ignore any misleading tweets.
11:00 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
@lilsaej is a bad ass. Seriously.
11:39 PM Aug 27th from TwitterBerry
47 unread posts on Google Reader. I guess I know what I am doing tonight.
9:56 AM Aug 28th from web
I keep telling Baby Face his brand of snark needs to be on Twitter. He's dragging his heels. Read his musings & then tell me what you think.
11:12 AM Aug 28th from web
Really Citibank? You want to go THERE? I don't think so.
11:44 AM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry
Ok. At Subway. The consistency of the tuna looks unnatural. And oddly, the person before and after me both ordered it.
12:02 PM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry
wondering just how many unread copies of the Charlotte Business Journal I can stack in a pile? Remind me again why I subscribe?
2:05 PM Aug 28th from web
Also - why the fuck are my eyebrows turning blonde? Seriously....
2:06 PM Aug 28th from web
[FYI - this is really happening and it's really FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT.]
Has successfully closed down 2 establishments in town tonight. Should I go for a 3rd?
11:34 PM Aug 28th from TwitterBerry
Breakfast of champs: leftover arroz con pollo and Coke Zero.
9:35 AM Aug 29th from web
Dude: a toupee? In this day and age? Are you kidding me?
11:53 AM Aug 29th from web
And to add insult to injury, it's a BAD toupee. I mean, with modern technology, you think you could do a wee bit better. #justsayin
11:54 AM Aug 29th from web
All right 8.5 miles. I am about to show you who's in charge.
12:37 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry
Excerpt from email from Citibank asking me to participate in a survey: "It helps us understand what you like about banking with us..."
6:23 PM Aug 29th from web
6:23 PM Aug 29th from web
"...and what you think could be improved." EVERYTHING.
6:24 PM Aug 29th from web
PS Not taking the time to do THAT survey. I mean - at least if you're going to make my life miserable, do it with a sexy Aussie accent.
6:25 PM Aug 29th from web
William Powell as Nick Charles. Sigh. #timemachinefreebie
8:42 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry
thinks Nora had the right idea: fur, satin, diamonds and rye.
9:16 PM Aug 29th from TwitterBerry
And if that ain't they-don't-make-them-like-they-used-to-fabulous-and-glamorous, I'll totally kiss your...
5 hours ago