Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Cat is More High Maintenance Than I Am, Overpriced Onion Crap, and Thank God for OCD

A totally random Thursday post that doesn't quite rival the awesomeness of Dirty Poetry, Sexy Quotes and 80s Videos With Muppets but comes pretty damn close.

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Every night, I bring a bottle of water to bed. And every night, at some point, I wake up and drink some water. And every night, my 3-pound fluff ball cat Sebastian (who FYI is totally psychotic and scary even though he is so wee and so pretty) gets ALL UP IN MY GRILL as soon as I drink the water. Seriously. It doesn't matter that he's got a water dish in the kitchen. Or that he likes to roll around in the sink and lick water off the faucet. It seems as if whenever mama is in bed drinking bottled water, Sebastian would like some too. I used to pour water into the cap and hold it out for him to drink but that's kind of a pain in the ass...especially at 2am at 3am at 4am when I am half asleep. So now I keep a little glass dish by the bed and as soon as he shoves his whiskers RIGHT IN MY FACE, I half blindly pour some water into the dish and he jumps off the bed and laps it up greedily. You'd think I was pouring him Gun Bun or something. Nice to know that my cat is more high maintenance than I am...Sigh.

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My wound from my brief but intense affair with concrete is healing nicely although it's been 8 weeks and 2 days and there is still tiny, wee bit of open wound (it might help if I stopped picking the scab). Other than that, the remaining evidence on my knee looks kind of like that birthmark on Gorbachev's head: sort of like a beet-colored Rorschach test. Anyways, I figured it was time to get some scar cream because as proud as I am of my mad-phat-sidewalk-loving-skillz, um yeah...I wear skirts and dresses nearly year round and giant purple splotches on my knee are simply not attractive. Holy Hell y'all - scar cream is like, $18 a tube. And you know what the Hell is in it? WATER! Water. That's the first flipping ingredient. You know what the second ingredient is? ONION EXTRACT!!! I shit you not. $18 for water and onion extract. Somehow that just seems so...WRONG. On so many levels. I mean why not just buy a bag of onions for $2.49 and just smoosh them on my knee whenever I shower? Seriously Mederma peeps - WTF?

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Half-Marathon training continues to go well. Last Saturday I knocked out 8.5 miles in 1:14:18 which translates to an 8.7 minute mile. Also, I RAN 8.5 MILES!!! Also - I have like, almost 4 more months before the actual race which means...yeah TRAINING CONTINUES TO GO WELL. That said...Holy Hell y'all. After 8.5 miles my body ACHED. It THROBBED. IT was SORE BEYOND BELIEF. I stretched twice a day for several days after. I iced my poor knee. I molested my legs with The Stick. And it occurred to me that if my body felt like "this" after 8.5 miles, it was going to HURT LIKE HELL after 13.1. So I called the Spa at the Sanctuary to book a post-Half-Marathon massage. Nearly four months in advance I placed the call. And guess what y'all? THEY ARE BOOKED. I mean, I could get a post-Half-Marathon massage at like 6:45pm that day...but that screws up dinner, and so I will have to wait until Sunday morning. Which is fine but OMG...imagine if I wasn't an anal retentive freak with serious OCD?

And if that ain't totally random, I'll kiss your...

3 comments:

mdvelazquez said...

My dog will only drink out of a dish if she is in dire straits. She insists on drinking out of a cup.

Shelly Overlook said...

Why is it that if you do something like pour water into a cap in the middle of the night for your cat once, they remember it forever and it MUST be done from here on out. My cats have their own drinking bowl on our bathtub for that very reason. Finicky bitches.

Total out of nowhere question - if you're a Nathan Fillion lover, does that mean you're a Firefly fan? Thereby also making you a Buffy/Angel fan?

AliCat said...

I had the same realization about the scar cream a couple weeks ago! I said "WTF?" out loud at the store.

As for the cat thing, my cat wakes me up around 4 a.m. by vigorously licking my face. She expects to be fed. I have spoiled her and it's come back to bite me in the ass.