My Week in Tweets: June 28 - July 4

Love love love the locksmith dudes at Lincolnton Lowes....love love love
10:19 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

And I'd like to thank Felix in paint for telling me all trim should be semi-gloss. Lincolnton Lowes rocks!!!
10:27 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

Joy of amazing parking juju at Wally World offset by asscrack sighting and parents telling kids to "shut it"
10:48 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

Just realized my RIGHT knee (ie one w/out gaping, oozy wound) is sporting a giant purple circle where I fell. Smooth....
5:44 PM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

My last 2 Mondays have been giant suckfests. Really hoping this one is better.
6:38 AM Jun 29th from web

But I'm not optimistic cuz I get to drive to Charlotte in rush hour (joy), my knee is seriously oozy, and my car is insanely dirty.
6:39 AM Jun 29th from web

And I haven't worked out since last Tuesday & OMG that's making me insanely cranky (& fat which makes me more cranky). #viciouscycle
6:40 AM Jun 29th from web

And I realize I bitch about my dirty car every other day. I swear I am going to the car wash soon. If I ever time...
6:41 AM Jun 29th from web

I HATE when work makes me change my PW. It usually takes me 2 and a half months to get used to the new one and then BAM need another new one
11:22 AM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

At Autobell because OMG my car was so dirty.
2:11 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Sprung for the Super Service (with polisher and sealer) since 1) my car was beyond dirty and 2) I seem to get my car washed *never*
2:12 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Dear Lord - my car is finally clean for the 1st time in a gazillion days. Could you pls pls hold off on rain for the next few days? Thx - me
2:20 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Dear Lord - apparently I forgot to ask you to not layer my car in pollen for the 1 hour I left it parked outside. Whoops - my bad... - me
3:34 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

So um yeah....cheap toilet paper doesn't just suck....it sucks and chafes. Pony-up for 2-ply people....seriously.....
4:00 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Oh yeah....90 minutes with Holly and I feel GORGEOUS! Sadly though I'm working tonight. In my home office. Guess my laptop is lucky....
5:36 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Considered buying spray on salad dressing for all of like, 1 minute.....
5:54 PM Jun 29th from TwitterBerry

Oh Twitterverse...was trying to make it through a Monday without blowing a gasket but I am coming awfully close...
7:48 PM Jun 29th from web

Holy crap Matthew Broderick looks O-L-D!
6:11 AM Jun 30th from web

Ahhh....what's better than a conference call on the screened in porch in mah jammies???
9:57 AM Jun 30th from TwitterBerry

Have been letting my knee "breathe" since yesterday afternoon. Feels good and the scabbing is making me happy.
11:05 AM Jun 30th from web

PS I'm going to have a *wicked* scar.
11:05 AM Jun 30th from web

I'm starting to feel like I've been up for the last 8+ hours. Oh wait..I have been up for the last 8+ hours...YAWN...
12:29 PM Jun 30th from web

No I did NOT just smash my exposed knee wound on the desk because that would be flipping PAINFUL... (OOOOOOWWWWWWW)
8:32 PM Jun 30th from web

Just totally let Calgon take me away....................
9:57 PM Jun 30th from TwitterBerry

So yeah. Scary noises coming from the woods. Chainsaws or stupid kids 4 wheeling. if I don't tweet by morning, call the cops.
10:45 PM Jun 30th from web

Oh - and did I mention the 14 packs of wild dogs/coyotes howling/barking/OMG scaring me silly?
10:57 PM Jun 30th from TwitterBerry

Cuz if I forgot....OMG they're totally there. Don't know what's worse: wild dogs or chainsaw wielding mass murderer??
10:58 PM Jun 30th from TwitterBerry

So yes. Now total *scared shitless* cacauphony of rabid wild critters and some kind of unidentified engine in the woods. JOY
11:00 PM Jun 30th from TwitterBerry

survived the night. Now I just have to survive this day...
6:30 AM Jul 1st from web

I just bought a Sobe 0 for me and an 18 pack of Coors Light for my handyman. It's not even 7:30am....
7:23 AM Jul 1st from TwitterBerry

Is hopped up on caffeine and Clorox fumes......
10:50 AM Jul 1st from TwitterBerry

Ok - I am seriously high on Clorox. Kinda feeling grooooovy......
11:57 AM Jul 1st from TwitterBerry

So yeah. I'm totally 1 of *those* people ordering 3 complex, very different sandwiches at Subway. Bite me.
12:01 PM Jul 1st from TwitterBerry

Glad my handyman didn't drink all 18 beers 'cuz 1 of those so has my name on it. Ok...maybe 2...
4:32 PM Jul 1st from web

Billy Mays, Karl Malden....who's next because you know these happen in 3s. I'm gonna venture a guess and say Hef.
4:34 PM Jul 1st from web

just found religion in the bathtub. And it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I took a bath with a hermaphrodite kitty...
10:29 PM Jul 1st from web

just got out of the bathtub and looked in the mirror. Holy Hell I look like crap. #needmoresleep
10:32 PM Jul 1st from web

So yeah - I'm not exactly a "re-store" type of girl.....
11:40 AM Jul 2nd from TwitterBerry

I'm also not a Family Dollar kinda gal either - but does that really shock you?
11:48 AM Jul 2nd from TwitterBerry

Trying to be cost conscious is giving me the retail heebie jeebies.....Wal-Mart is starting to seem luxurious.....
12:13 PM Jul 2nd from TwitterBerry

OMG - trying to buy a ceiling fan and am suddenly, utterly overwhelmed......
1:16 PM Jul 2nd from TwitterBerry

Also, what's the point of getting the car washed if it's going to get FILTHY within 48 hours?
7:44 PM Jul 2nd from web

I wasn't going to *twitch* (tweet + bitch) about it but...it's really freaking pissing me off.
7:44 PM Jul 2nd from web

staring at a stack of receipts that need to be dealt with and thinking I'm going to get all Scarlett O'Hara on their ass..
10:59 PM Jul 2nd from web

Digging deep down into my inner strength reserves because Holy Hell am I going to need them today.
9:28 AM Jul 3rd from TwitterBerry

My right eye is sore and starting to look a wee bit "rouge." For the record, this is not making me happy. In fact, it's freaking me out...
8:02 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterBerry

It's only July 3rd peeps - can't the fireworks wait one more day????
8:37 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterBerry

So catching up on Twitter and Google Reader is like, totally a full time job...
9:19 PM Jul 3rd from web

OMG - Magic Cover Grip Liner is the best shit ever!!!! Whoo - lining shelves is sooooooo easy......
8:11 AM Jul 4th from TwitterBerry

Neighbor just stopped by with watermelon and fresh blackberries. God I love small town life!
12:32 PM Jul 4th from TwitterBerry

all i've had to eat today is watermelon and rice cakes and blackberries. thinking i need to cook dinner...
8:08 PM Jul 4th from TwitterBerry

...otherwise the eyedropper full of wine I've just drunk will make me loopy as all get out (and I'm already on another Clorox high...)
8:09 PM Jul 4th from TwitterBerry

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...