Thursday, July 02, 2009

More Flipping Fast Food...Sigh...

So we're getting a Burger King. And this is news because? Well - it's not to me. I could care less. And I won't even point out that apparently my tiny little town has already had two...count 'em TWO...Burger Kings and both have apparently failed although I can't imagine how or why since my tiny little town seems to subsist on fast food.

Seriously, if my aging, overworked, stressed-out memory serves me correctly we currently have McDonald's, Wendy's, Hardee's, Arby's, Taco Bell, KFC, Bojangles, Zaxby's, Cookout, Quizno's, 3 Subway's (incl. 1 in Wal-Mart), Pizza Hut and Domino's. Oh yeah. And Waffle House. And that's just the "chains" you have heard of. There's more - I assure you. And about 98% of these are on the same strip of road which Gawd forbid you try to navigate between the hours of 11am and 2pm because OMG it's like 1 giant cluster fucking parking lot with cars pulling in and out of drive-thrus everywhere. Sigh.

So yes...my townspeeps are all excited about Burger King and meanwhile it just gives me a headache because OMG do we really really really need another flipping fast food restaurant? And while we're on the subject...

WE DO NOT NEED A CHICK-FIL-A. We already have dueling Bojangles/KFC at a prominent intersection off of Highway 321 not to mention Zaxby's down the road. And McDonald's now does "southern-style" chicken sandwiches and biscuits so seriously people - what is Chick-Fil-A going to bring you except flipping disappointment when you wake up hungover on a Sunday totally craving Chick-Fil-A only to discover that it's closed. Seriously. Think about it.

And while we're on the subject even more...Chili's is not fine dining. Sorry. It's not. Neither is Olive Garden. Nor is it even real Italian food. Sorry. It's not. And Applebee's isn't classy and TGIF's is just plain sucky. Sorry. I'm sure if I have any local readers I've probably pissed y'all off and suddenly I no longer sound like Country Girl and rather I sound like hateful, snobby NYC bitch and I'm not trying to but really...

I love food. I love good food. And I love good restaurants. Restaurants which aren't chains. Or if they are chains...they are at least good chains. And I'm not talking about Ruth's Chris or Morton's or anyone of Mario Batali's 28 restaurants. I'm talking good old fashioned chains like Outback which by the way, Outback is totally the exception which proves the rule. Or something like that. So yes. News of getting a new Burger King simply makes me want to go...Sigh.

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...

ps I know I sound cranky. That's because I am cranky. And I am not trying to take it out on Fast Food Nation or my tiny little town or the zillions of folks everywhere who heart Chick-Fil-A. But really. 1) I am too tired to be clever/funny/amusing; 2) I haven't worked out since last Tuesday which means no opportunity for rough sex; 3) Fast food kind of makes me stabby (apparently); 4) I've been breathing in Clorox all day so I am a little high; 5) Did I mention the whole *tired* thing 'cuz really it's more like fucking-exhausted-beyond-belief-staggering-to-my-bed-crazy-with-delirium-emotionally-drained. Sigh...

pps So clearly I wrote this last night because for the record, it's only 7am and I'd like to clarify that I am not high on Clorox. I usually don't hit my first Clorox high til at least 9am...

7 comments:

Nancy said...

Sorry you're feeling all stabby!
We have plenty of fast food in our town and surrounding area but since I'm a real cheap person I prefer to eat the food at home that I've already bought rather than spend more on fast food! We do have Thursday Night Takeout but the fastest fast food we have is Subway. Otherwise it's local pizza, Thai or cafe food.
You're right - Chili's is NOT fine dining, neither is TGIF's which is the only two places I've been on your take on fine dining!
If I'm paying for it give me really good food or it's not worth it!

Shelly Overlook said...

When my hubby and I first started dating, he asked if there was a good Italian restaurant in my n'hood. He was new in town, new to me, and told me later he was suddenly fearful I'd answer "Fazoli's". That became our running joke, that when one of us suggest Fazolis for dinner, that meant a break up talk was coming, b/c anyone who thinks that Fazolis is real Italian food isn't worth dating.

I guess this only makes sense if you know what Fazolis is.

AndreAnna said...

We just got a Sonic and you'd think that Jesus just walked out of the sky. Since its opening, there's been people DIRECTING TRAFFIC.

Good grief.

harmzie said...

Can you get a high from clorox? I though you could only get nasal-stripping.

I'm with you on this whole issue (the restaurant thing, not so much the clorox thing, although truthfully, there I'm not very far away either). I think it comes down to: If you cook from a recipe "book" that has pictures of the bun floating over the lettuce, floating over the tomato, floating over the patty... (you get the idea) it's not fine dining. Or even good dining. Or even dining.

That said, some of the best food comes from simple sources & doesn't cause you to refinance your finances. I worked near a mom & pop restaraunt once & went in to order a clubhouse for lunch and it showed up with a WHOLE BREAST of turkey. I was like "wtf? Is this actual MEAT?" D.Lishus. Who roasts a turkey in the am so you can have real clubhouses for the lunch crowd? A Good Restaurant, that's whom. (and it looked like a hole in the wall, too - brown "astroturf" style carpet; ug-ly wood panelling... and so on. Clean but ug-ly. And d.lishus)

kyooty said...

ah but you don't have like 7 Tim Hortons to add to that list! nope! :P

Anonymous said...

I heart Chick-fil-A. ;-( And all of its entrees are under 500 calories. In fact, I am typing this as I sip from my Chick-fil-A cup b/c I stopped 30 mins up the road just to get my "fil".

hum...On second thought, I would probably be as big as a house IF we had a Chick-fil-A because "my name is Sara and I am a Chick-fil-Addict."

Karen from Mentor said...

Sarah,
I have been known to be driving and see a sign chock full of restaurant logos...and sigh and say...but there's no FOOD at this exit....but that does lead me into the old joke....get food/gas at this exit....

Hey do you have a piggly wiggly?
nothing to do with anything, I just like to type piggly wiggly.

Hope you feel less stabby soon.