1) Iron: Growing up the cleaning lady did the laundry and hand dried all of the 100% cottons and ironed everything and I had a very neatly pressed wardrobe. Whenever I moved out, I stopped ironing. Then a few years ago
2) Sew: I am domestic in many ways but sewing is just not my thing. And it's not like my mom sewed when I was a kid and that's why I want to be able to sew. But I remember once being in Barney's and coveting a rack full of very pretty cotton, floral, knee-length circle skirts. And I remember fainting at the prices (almost $400 per skirt). And I remember my friend telling me how easy it would be to buy some fabric and a simple pattern and make one myself. And then a little while later I discovered Allison Anne skirts and again, there was some coveting going on. But $250? Please people.
3) Golf: No one in my family golfs but all of my friends golf and one of my friends is even married to someone who plays on the PGA Tour. And it's not like I am crazy about golf as a sport - I don't watch it on TV, I don't pay attention to Tiger's comings and goings. But I actually want to learn to play golf for professional purposes. You see I am in marketing. In finance. And there's a lot of golf tournaments. And deals get closed on the golf course. And there are not a lot of female golfers so I'd really stand out. Oh and then there's the whole golf wardrobe I'd get to buy...Oh the sacrifices I am willing to make for my own professional development.
4) Garden: EVERYONE I know (and this is not an exaggeration of any kind - this is an actual, scientifically proven fact) can garden EXCEPT me. I know - you're saying to yourself: What do you mean she CAN'T garden? How can she not know how to dig, how to plant, how to water? Well I do know how to dig. Just not how deep. Or how far apart. And I do know how to plant. But again - I don't know how deep or how far apart. And I do know how to water. Just not how much. And how often. And every time I ask someone to teach me about gardening they look at me like I have asked them to teach me how to breathe - as if it were the most natural function in the world. "Oh it's so easy," they say. "You just dig, plant, and water." It makes me want to thwack them in the knee caps with a trowel. Or maybe a hoe. And if you start talking about "pruning" and "cutting back" I might get stabby with a rake.
5) Understand how my car works: My passion to show up the Snappy Lube dude has already been well chronicled. But I felt like for the purposes of this list, I had to include it again.
6) Sing Karaoke: Ok. I can sing karaoke. Just not well and I'd like to be able to sing it well.
So lovelies - what's on your list? What can't you do that you wish you could?
All right. I have spent the last 10 minutes trying to come up with a clever, Country Girl ending to this post. It ain't happening and I refuse to resort to using Bojangles biscuits as a blogging crutch. Oh wait. I think I just did.
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...