I suffer from serious, severe Road Rage. And seeing as I drive on average 350 miles a week for work (sometimes more, sometimes less, most of it on an Interstate) this has gotten to be a problem. And I am aware that I sort of touched on this subject back in January so to the extent I repeat myself, apologies. Actually - no apologies. Some of this stuff just needs to be repeated over and over and over and over until the FUCKING MORONS WHO DRIVE ME CRAZY ON THE ROAD AND MAKE IT MISERABLE FOR EVERYBODY ELSE GET A CLUE (Of course not you darling readers. You don't do that sort of thing.)!
(Yes this is going to be another ranty post that involves LOTS OF ALL CAPS and perhaps a salty word or two. And I know you were probably going to say something snarky like: "Oh - is it that time of the month?" And I was all set to be like - "NO! How dare you insinuate that this week's rantiness is tied to my hormones." But alas, it is that time of the month and perhaps that is why I am so ranty this week. Or maybe not. Maybe this is just one of those weeks where rantiness is all the rage. Speaking of rage...)
Holy Hell People! THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING AND FOR PASSING ONLY. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK, CRACKED SKULLS!! You should not be in the left lane if:
1) You are NOT passing
2) YOU ARE GOING SLOWER THAN THE SPEED LIMIT
3) You are a truck driver. Ever. This should be mandatory law.
4) You are trying to do something else while driving: talk on phone, eat a hamburger, smoke a cigarette, discipline your kids, watch a DVD, pat your head and chew gum (at the same time), etc.
5) SOMEBODY ELSE IS GOING FASTER THAN YOU! I don't care if you're doing 80 in a 65 and passing everybody. If I come behind you doing 85, Rules of Road dictate that YOUR ASS GETS OVER TO THE RIGHT LANE PRONTO!!! (And no mom and dad - I don't ever drive 85mph - especially if the speed limit is 65mph. This is all hypothetical. For blog purposes. And for entertainment purposes.)
Truck drivers are the worst. They absolutely kill me. First of all, most of the national companies put speed governators on so that the trucks can't go above over a certain speed limit. And while the drivers know how to get around them, there is a limit to how fast you can go WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING A 2-TON TRUCK ON 18 WHEELS. Actually, I don't know how much an 18-wheeler weighs and I am too lazy to look it up. But for the purposes of this discussion, they weigh 2-tons.
Anyways, there's nothing worse than cruising along at 75mph when all of a sudden some
So yes, most of the time when I am trapped behind a truck I am a cussing, shouting lunatic and you would be horrified to know me. Probably. And yes - I am aware that my behavior is pretty much INSANE and that it does no one any good. So on occasion, I do try be zen about the whole thing and sometimes I can pull it off but lots of times I can't.
And then I wonder why I am so angry and frustrated about everything. And really, how much time am I losing? Three minutes? Five minutes? Seven minutes? And is that time equal in value to the emotional drain I suffer freaking out?
What about you? Do you suffer from Road Rage? Is there something else in the universe that drives you absolutely insane to the point where you sometimes feel like you can't cope?
Ok. I just went back and re-read this post. I am not as freaky as I sound. Really. I am actually a sweet, loving, patient, compassionate, nurturing, elegant, gentle, quiet, demure, angelic soul who would never hurt a fly. But occasionally I feel like kicking the ever loving shit out of a truck driver.
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...
PS I just decided that for every comment received on this post in the next 5 days (so through June 15th), I will donate $1 to the National Tourette Syndrome Association.
PPS Also, for every comment received on this post, I vow to be TOTALLY ZEN the next time I get stuck behind a slow moving truck in the left lane.
So please comment kids. You'll be contributing to medical research AND my sanity. How often can you do that?