Happy Father's Day Twitterverse (and especially @MarshallKarp! Luv Ya! MWAH!)
10:35 AM Jun 21st from web
Miley Cyrus? Seriously? Will there always be another mountain to move honey? Cuz you are 16 - you don't know from mountains. *sigh*
11:20 AM Jun 21st from TwitterBerry
Michelle Pfeiffer jazz hands...OMG...
4:14 PM Jun 21st from web
Why are all of People's hottest bachelor's, like, 12?
5:33 PM Jun 21st from web
Ok...Love Will Turn Back the Hands of Time is genius! Maxwell Caulfied in a silver leather jumpsuit? GENIUS.
5:41 PM Jun 21st from web
is Sunday blue...
9:24 PM Jun 21st from TwitterBerry
Today's mantra (courtesy @Harmzie): "Suck it up princess." Aye aye cap'n!
6:33 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
Ok. My car is seriously too dirty for words....
7:05 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
Just wrote the most perfect blog post in my head while driving...really hoping to recreate the genius when I am actually in front of my PC
8:16 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
FUCK! My iPod just froze. This SUCKS.
9:18 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
Counting down til I can slip on my Mizunos and go for a 5 mile run b/c otherwise I think my head will *EXPLODE* #bringitonmondaybringit
9:34 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
Thank you genius Apple dude for resetting my beloved ipod. Thank you. Was only mildly panicked....
10:10 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
Now if only I can exit the mall without being distracted by SALE SALE SALE pretty dress new lipgloss SALE 60% off cute sandals SALE SALE
10:11 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
I hate iced Americanos. HATE. Damn you Starbucks...
10:18 AM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
30 minutes on the elliptical + serious sweat = my head NOT *exploding* However #stillslightlystabby #workinprogress
6:01 PM Jun 22nd from TwitterBerry
OMFG - my car is so dirty I can't even deal....
8:58 AM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
In other random unrelated news, my animals are utterly adorable and I am mildly obsessed.....
8:59 AM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
Guess who complete faceplanted and ate it on her afternoon run through asheville...
6:33 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
...And who is now hemmoraghing from a hole in her left knee, dripping from a gash in her right elbow...
6:34 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
...And who won't be wearing a midriff baring top anytime soon courtesy of a lovely case of road rash on her stomach...
6:35 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
...And whose spiffy white new Mizunos now show signs of jogging carnage?
6:36 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
Hey - at least NO ONE saw it happen (I don't think...)
6:36 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
Ps Kimberly Avenue kicked my fucking ass. That road is one giant uphill slope - in both fucking directions....
6:37 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
Just scared a small child at the gas station with my gushing wound and the shiny red slick running down my left leg....
6:59 PM Jun 23rd from TwitterBerry
seriously...i don't think skin is supposed to feel this *squishy* #holyhelliminpain
7:36 PM Jun 23rd from web
3 Advil. Bed. #holyhelliminpain
10:06 PM Jun 23rd from web
After consulting @Mrs_Westwick I'm off to urgent care. Can't find saline and Telfa @ the local pharma....sigh
10:00 AM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
Based on the size of the dressing on my knee you'd think I broke it....holy cow. At least I can walk......
10:41 AM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
Trickiest part of supersized knee dressing? Getting in and out of the car.....serious challenge....
11:27 AM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
Sorry to bitch Twitterverse but 10,000 layers of gauze and ace bandage in 85+ degree heat is making me cranky...
3:40 PM Jun 24th from web
Taking deep breaths and trying not to have a mental breakdown...............
8:13 PM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
Trying to be zen and failing fucking miserably......
8:25 PM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
Knee pain is making me stabby.....everything else is making me *mildly* mental....
9:12 PM Jun 24th from TwitterBerry
OMG - for about 2 minutes, I forgot about my knee. PROGRESS.
7:35 AM Jun 25th from web
Will someone remind me to pls stop coming to the Food Lion in Maiden? This is the worst grocery store in the universes.....
2:59 PM Jun 25th from TwitterBerry
Universe. I meant universe....
3:01 PM Jun 25th from TwitterBerry
Question for you: Who out there still writes checks.....for groceries? OMG....seriously? #ihatefoodlion
3:03 PM Jun 25th from TwitterBerry
I iz sooooo sexy in my denim mini and H-wrap....
4:04 PM Jun 25th from web
My sleepy lil town is about to get woke up....ROCK ON L-TON....ROCK ON!!!!!!!
5:47 PM Jun 25th from TwitterBerry
And they said it couldn't be done....HAH......
6:53 PM Jun 25th from TwitterBerry
Bohemian Rhapsody? Seriously? #badkaraokesongs
12:24 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
Hates fake blondes with fake boobs and fake tans. Just sayin'....
1:03 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
PS I LOVE real blondes. Especially ones with real boobs. And real tans. But I'll let a fake 'n bake pass if the color is good....
1:04 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
Holy hell its red in here.....damn....love thursdays @ TWs # WTFF
1:30 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
Ok - if you were my phone charger - where would you be?????
10:27 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
So the UPS totally knows he's delivering wine and what does he do? Slides the box through the door like's going for the 7-10 split. NICE!
11:03 AM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
is relishing the peace and quiet....BLISS....
2:50 PM Jun 26th from web
So Jason Patric has been hiding in a 400 degree oven for the last 10 yrs b/c OMG he's HOT! Who knew?
9:42 PM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
And yes - I know that was sooooooo cheesy (like Velveeta cheesy) but it's so true......
9:43 PM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
My knee is oozy. It's totally grossing me out.
10:07 PM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
Holy Hell - we are being gassed on HWY 73....what is this STENCH? It's OVERPOWERING!!!!
10:35 PM Jun 26th from TwitterBerry
Is cranky as Hell. Being woken up @ 2:30am will do that to a girl... #WTFF
2:37 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
I love my cat but OMG if he doesn't stop howling....it's 3am dude....please....for the love of my sanity....
2:54 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
Apparently I live in Grand Central Station...and the fact that I am STILL awrake after being rudely ripped from slumber an hour ago...
3:29 AM Jun 27th from web
...let's just say I'm a tad cranky.
3:29 AM Jun 27th from web
Bordering on insanely apoplectic.
3:30 AM Jun 27th from web
I wonder if I Tweet enough will the extreme rage subside and will I once again be embraced by blessed and much needed slumber?
3:44 AM Jun 27th from web
Somehow I think I need something stronger than Twitter...
3:45 AM Jun 27th from web
Has now added a plastic bag to the 15 layers of shit wrapped around my seeping knee.....so yeah....being a klutz totally blows....
11:53 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
Sampling Baked Lays new flavor Southwestern Ranch. Kind of repulsive, kind of not.
1:27 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
Sooooo looking forward to dinner with @felinefrenzy. And vino. Looking forward to vino.....
5:14 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
Is finally feeling sane after an amazing dinner with @felinefrenzy. Wood-grilled caeser, ribeye, lush cab and lots of Oreos. #YUMMY!
9:17 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
9:49 PM Jun 27th from web
Glass of merlot, 2 sweet kitties, screened in porch, chirping crickets, calm summer night, peace, quiet, solitude, bliss....
10:50 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
Did I mention the utter bliss? Cuz yeah.....Oh my.....heaven.......
11:00 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...
5 hours ago