Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Than a Minor Meltdown

I had a more than minor meltdown yesterday and it was not pretty. For those of you who like pretty with your morning cup of blog, go back and look at the pictures of me and Isaac because that was pretty. Oh so pretty. For the rest of you...

So I am en route to Charlotte yesterday when I notice that my a/c is not exactly cold. This is troubling because a) it's been working fine the last few weeks and b) it's HOT. And I don't mean it's in the high 70s and kind of warm and springy. I mean it's in the low 90s and HOT and I have no idea when the heat wave is going to break but not any time soon. By the time I am about 10 minutes into my drive and about to get on I-85, the a/c is clearly not working at all. Blowing air yes - but cooling no.

I start to panic. Why? Well 1) Again, the whole HOT thing. 2) I have an extremely narrow window in which to get the a/c fixed - today. And not even all of today because Marty and I have to drive up to Granite Falls to pick up the Volvo in the morning and then I have to hang out at home from 1 - 5 to wait for the inspector to come and inspect it before we turn it back in. Tomorrow I am at Quail Hollow for the tournament all day, and then getting an MRI for my knee Wednesday night at 7pm in Gastonia and then I leave Thursday early for Charleston/Sullivan's Island which is a serious, serious drive. 3) I believe it's going to continue to be 90 degrees all week....Mental meltdown begins.

I call Marty to see who in Lincolnton I should bring it to. He suggests Griffin Brothers. During the HOT drive to Charlotte I pray that I only need freon and no major repairs. As soon as I get to Charlotte I call Griffin Bros. to see if I can stop by @ 4:30 when I get back and get a shot of freon. They tell me that it's not quite so simple and not enough time. Apparently, even if I only need freon, you can't add a quart like you can windshield wiper fluid. There are diagnostics and tests and dye and the whole thing...the whole thing even if I ONLY need freon, is going to cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $180. Not that price is an issue - I mean, given how much I drive (we figured I logged close to 50,000 miles in my car last year) not having a/c is not an option. But still, $180 seems high for no major repairs. I wonder if this is because I am a woman or because it's HOT or because it's really $180.

With my meeting over, I get back in my car. The physical meltdown begins because it's freaking HOT. I tell myself that my reward will be a stop at Steak and Shake in Gastonia for a milkshake (I've had a crazy milkshake hankering as of late that has yet to be satisfied). The drive back on I-85 is tolerable (mainly because I am fantasizing about the milkshake - it's like an oasis in the desert) but the rolled down windows mess with my hair. I get to Gastonia and turn the wrong way on Franklin. $~#$%&!. That's twice in 5 days I have been "lost" in Gastonia. I hate Gastonia. I really do.

So now I have to wait until I get to Lincolnton and go to Cookout for my shake. Plus I still have to drive through Gastonia and Dallas. During rush hour. Torture. Agony. Mental meltdown now in full force and physical meltdown not far behind.

I finally arrive in Lincolnton and high tail it to Cookout. It feels like it takes them forever to make my mint Oreo shake but I finally get it, put the straw in, drive off....The shake is SOOOOO thick there ain't no way I am drinking it with a straw. I guess that's why they gave me a spoon too. But I am driving and can't manage the spoon situation so I suck and suck on the straw with all of my might, giving my cheeks a full on work-out and willing little bits of shake into my mouth. What minuscule tastes I can muster are good but it's not enough and I spiral further downward into meltdown madness.

I get home and tear open the spoon and start inhaling my shake at lightning speed while still parked in the garage. It's good - mostly shake, very little milk, cold, creamy, sweet and totally hits the spot. I slurp it up at a warp pace that would horrify all of you.

Then I had to go feed the animals and Elvis was disruptive as all get out (what would he be like if we HADN'T castrated him and is it possible to castrate him more because I am not sure it too the first time?) so much so that I had to beat the ever loving shit out of him.

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...