Sunday, April 05, 2009

Live-Blogging the Academy of Country Music Awards


I can’t believe I am actually going to live-blog an awards show and frankly, I am glad I had a chance to live-blog Idol earlier this week because I now feel slightly better prepared. Truth be told, live-blogging takes energy and focus and is not for the faint of heart. You are trying to simultaneously pay attention to what’s going on real-time while still write whatever genius/random/brilliant/hysterical thought has just popped into your head and formulate the next one. And if you’re me, you are doing all of this and trying not to get too distracted by Facebook or Twitter or email or your cat who insists on coming in and out of the house every 10 minutes.

At least as for this live-blog, I am clearly much more prepared and organized than Idol. I have been semi- situated since 7pm, watching Dolly Parton on 60 Minutes and gearing up for my first ever live-blog of an awards show. I am also, for the record, in costume. I don’t know why (since none of you can see me) but I felt compelled to bust out my pink cowboy hat and it’s now perched jauntily atop my head. Marty will tell you it’s not a real cowboy hat and to some extent he’s right. It’s by Eugenia Kim and was purchased at a very trendy boutique on the Lower East Side of Manhattan back in 1999 (probably when SJP was donning cowboy hats on SATC) and it’s not the sort of hat you’d see an actual Cowboy or Cowgirl wear (although I have one of those too except it’s gathering dust in someone’s attic in Houston). However, it feels appropriately festive for the occasion and so I am wearing it.

Now…onto the Academy of Country Music Awards…

8:00pm Live...from Las Vegas? Not exactly "Country" but I suppose it makes sense given the spangle quotient.

8:02pm I don't know whether to give Taylor Swift props for not lip synching a la Ashley Simpson or to bemoan the fact that she really does not have a good voice. She probably wouldn't make it into the Top 24 on Idol. That said, I still love her and I love Fearless. She really does sound better produced.

8:04pm I suspect the Fug Girls will have a field day with Carrie's opening number outfit which is sadly unfortunate...And I am realizing at this pace that 3 hours of live-blogging is going to get very long, very quick.

8:06pm Is Matthew McConaughey trying to be the Jack Nicholson of the ACMs...because really, there is only ONE JACK and I guarantee you he's not in Las Vegas tonight.

8:14pm Kenny Chesney has won Entertainer of the Year 4 years in a row? Seriously? My cousin Kelly sings better than him...and I am not just saying that because he's my cousin!

8:28pm: Rascal Flatts just won the Vocal Group of the year ACM award. No shocker. I have recently come to a new conclusion about Rascal Flatts, a band who up until now, I have not really cared for and who have utterly baffled me. So hypothetically speaking, let’s say that lead singer Gary LeVox were to commit some sort of crime (other than his singing) and find himself in prison. And let’s say that we become Facebook friends during his incarceration. And then let’s say that a month before his release from his Seattle-based prison, he asks me, his new FBBFF, to meet him at the train station upon his release so I can finally bring him home. And then, continuing with this hypothetical train of thought, let’s say that I get drunk the day that Gary gets out of prison. And I go to pick him up in the rain (because after all, it is Seattle). But before I can get to the station in my pick-up truck…he gets run over by a damned old train. And then let’s say that Rascal Flatts hires Danny Gokey to be their new lead vocalist. I think that while I would likely mourn the loss of my good friend Gary, I would probably start listening to Rascal Flatts.

8:35pm I am trying not to hate Toby Keith for being a complete and utter sexist pig because I LOVE this song.

8:49pm Jamie Foxx is delivering a much needed humor quotient. And he is getting ready to introduce (I think) the GOD of country music.

8:50pm I am all vklempt. Jamie and George are BFF? Are they FB-BFF? And how handsome is George? And how good does he sound? So many of these singers only sound good "produced." George sounds good au natural. He just is...perfection. He is...heaven. Heaven on this night. I heart George.

8:52pm Carrie Underwood has changed. Into what- I can not tell.

8:54pm Julianne Hough just won best new artist? Now I get why people can't stand what's played on today's country radio. Then again, this was a fan vote. Explains a lot. Have you seen Zac Brown Band??

9:02pm David Copperfield's "introduction" of Taylor Swift wins the cheesiest moment of the night award. However, Taylor actually sounds good. This song might actually be in her range. Maybe.

9:17pm Best vocal performance of the night goes (sorry George) to Lee Ann Womack. Bar none.

9:19pm What is Kaley Kuoco doing on this show? And WTF is she wearing?

9:21pm Love Jennifer Nettles. She just said "We ain't never thanked them before" in reference to someone. Ain't never. Thanks for keeping it country Jen.

9:25pm Keith Urban - please explain to me: how do you go from Australia to Nashville? I must know. And for the record, why don't I have any Keith on my iPod? I think this must be changed...ASAP.

9:37pm LeAnn Rimes is definitely working the micro-mini. Who knew a humanitarian could be so hot!

9:47pm Billy Ray is so glad he exploited his daughter into stardom so he could have a second career. Sorry - a 3rd. Anyone remember Doc on Pax?

9:48pm For the record, Miley IS lip-synching. Totally.

9:52pm Miley's performance tops David Copperfield's intro of Taylor Swift as cheesiest moment of the night. It might have been the Xanadu leggings. I just don't know.

10:00pm Carrie Underwood needs a stylist. And a sandwich. I think her dress must outweigh her 3 to 1.

10:12pm So for the recored - Reba McEntire has been an awesome host thus far. And she can sing. And she's got good comedic timing. And she can rock skin tight leather pants like no one else!!

10:17pm I love Carrie Underwood...and I love her for giving props to God and American Idol and the Fans all in one breath. All while looking like Disco Barbie.

10:32pm Ok - I am totally downloading Sugarland's What I'd Give. And for the record, I want to be Jennifer Nettles. She kicks ass. And can sing. And says "ain't" on public television.

10:36pm Trace Adkins - I love that you're an idiot too. You're Gonna Miss This is a fabulous song. No matter where you are in the parenthood cycle.

10:43pm Yes Reba - I agree. Blake Shelton is sexy. And he sounds pretty damn good too.

10:46pm Taylor Swift just beat out George Strait AND Carrie Underwood (among others) for album of the year. I don't know what to say. I really don't.

10:47pm Torture. The Danny Gokey-less Rascal Flatts is performing.

10:51pm Still being tortured.

10:59pm And the ACM Entertainer of the Year is...CARRIE UNDERWOOD. WOO-HOO.

I'm beat. It's been a helluva night.

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your...


Nancy said...

Hello! I found you through your comments to Rude Cactus. Love your blog!
I enjoyed this one because I either missed it or decided I couldn't sit through it.
I agree with your assessment of Taylor Swift - girl canNOT sing live. No way.
And Julianne Hough - oh now you decide you want a country music singing career? Very Odd.
I adore Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban and I may have to look into Sugarland.