Ok. So sometimes I don't write because I feel like I have nothing "country" to write about. Or, I do write but I write about the same thing over and over again.
But the thing is - I have lots to say. My head is just full of random thoughts that I'd like to jot down. I mean let's face it - I've lived in North Carolina for nearly two years. How much more fish out of water are we truly expecting? So I am giving myself permission to make this blog about whatever I want and stop trying to limit myself to BBQ, tractor pulls, biker bars, and livestock.
First topic on the agenda? Saved By the Bell (Yes - when I wrote random, I meant random. I once wrote an essay for a high school English exam on what happened to the cast of Grease 2 - not including Michelle Pfeiffer who we we all know went on to do wonderful things and marry David E. Kelley. I was particularly interested in what happened to Maureen Teefy, the actress who played Sharon. As it turns out, according to IMDB, not much worth noting. But what is interesting is that Peter Frechette who played DiMucci and sang such a stirring rendition of Let's Do It For Our Country starred on Broadway, or perhaps off-Broadway, and played my best friend's father in a production of The Normal Heart. How's that for random).
Anyways, back to Saved By The Bell. I love this show. I truly do. Notice I wrote "love" and not "loved." This is an ongoing thing with me. I did watch it back in the day - back when it was more age appropriate. And I loved it then too. And I loved Mark Paul Gossalear. When I found out that my friend's uncle created the show and wrote most of the episodes, I flipped out. Anyways, I confess that some mornings I just don't have the mental capacity to digest the news. Or sometimes I do but after the first hour of the Today Show, unless there's something interesting going on, they slip more and more from news show to morning gabfest (don't even get me started on the 3rd or 4th hours of that show, the second string cast they trot out, and Al Roker's attempt to be a serious journalist) and so I don't feel guilty flipping over to SBTB which TBS graciously airs from 7am - 9am, Monday - Friday.
So I watched several episodes this week and let me tell you, for the first time I found it truly, truly painful. Do you think that these actors look back on what they were forced to wear (Kelly: bike shorts, midriff-baring cropped tops; Lisa: bike shorts under dresses, lots of big blazers, general multi-colored mayhem; Jessie: crocheted sweaters; ties, etc.), what they were forced to say (How effing fashionable Lisa is, Jessie's feminist rants, numerous comments about geeks, dweebs and nerds when talking about Screech and his crew); and how they were forced to act (Slater flexing his muscles, Screech's entire array of goofy facial expressions, Kelly's 50s surfer-girl dance moves)? It's worse then soap operas. In the "in-case-you-didn't-get-it-so-let-me-spell-it-out-for-you" school of acting, SBTB is the hands down winner. I never realized that before.
The ultimate moment in the SBTB school of bad acting has to go to Denise Richards. Now I admit, I do not like Denise. I think she is a terrible actress with a screechy, whiny voice and no presence whatsoever. She's got a slammin' bod - but that does not give her the right to pollute our TV and movie screens. She's a terrible actress to begin with but stick her in a SBTB episode - it's like bad acting Armageddon. So the ex-Mrs. Charlie Sheen had a bit part in the last episode of the 6-episode summer series (which featured a wonderfully snarky Leah Remini before she got all crazy Scientology and a hammy but still lovable Ernie Sabella) where she played Slater's secret admirer. All episode he gets these "mysterious notes" from a secret admirer saying how much she loves him from afar. LOVES HIM. People - my suspension of disbelief is as good as the next girl's but seriously, ok? Anyways, as Slater is the lifeguard, Denise pretends to drown so Slater will rush out and save her. Of course, he swims out and discovers she's fine. Then she confesses to the whole shenanigan and says how she was scared to tell him that she loved him because what if he doesn't like her? Ok - so fake drowning is the key to winning a man's heart and ensuring he likes you? I don't think so Denise. I don't think so. But maybe it is. Or maybe it's that Slater takes one look at Denise in that bikini (his ears must have been clogged with sea-water drowning out her painfully whiny voice) and figures - how bad can it be? Of course, with the summer over they have no time to explore this new found love. But wait. How convenient. Denise has just moved to town and will be attending Bayside next year. Thankfully - the producers never followed through on that threat because Denise never appears again. I wonder if that's the year they made the much more inspired casting choice of Tori Spelling as Screech's geeky love interest, Violet?
I know it ain't country, so kiss my...
An inconvenient truth
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