Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Heat Wave and Pregnant Goats

It seems that the extent of this current heat wave is unknown outside these parts. So let me further enlighten the unenlightened. IT’S HOT. IT’S TECHNICALLY BEEN HOT (I.E. OVER 90°) FOR 22 DAYS. WE’VE HAD 6 RECORD HIGHS IN AUGUST SO FAR. IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE HOT UNTIL NEXT MONDAY WHEN THE HIGH TEMPERATURE WILL ONLY REACH 89° AT WHICH POINT THE HEAT WAVE WILL OFFICIALLY BE OVER.

THERE’S A DROUGHT. UNTIL TODAY, I HADN'T EVEN SEEN RAIN IN AGES. LUCKY ME WE GOT HIT WITH A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM JUST IN TIME FOR THE DRIVE HOME. WOO HOO. HOWEVER, PROBABLY NOT ENOUGH RAIN TO TAKE US OFF OF MANDATORY WATER RESTRICTIONS OR TO MAKE UP THE 8-INCH RAIN DEFICIT THE COUNTY IS CURRENTLY FACING. I WON'T EVEN ADDRESS OUR POOR, PITIFUL LAWN. I THINK THERE ARE LAWNS IN SAUDIA ARABIA THAT LOOK BETTER THAN OURS.

IT’S SO HOT THAT THE TREES ARE DRYING UP AND BROWN AND YELLOW LEAVES ARE BLOWING OFF LIKE CRAZY. LIKE IT WAS FALL. ONLY IT’S NOT FALL BECAUSE IT’S TOO $#!&*! HOT TO BE FALL.

THIS HEAT IS MAKING ME CRAZY. SO CRAZY I’VE BEEN REDUCED TO WRITING IN ALL CAPS SO I CAN CLEARLY EXPRESS TO YOU ALL, MY DEAR, DEAR READERS, JUST HOW HOT IT HAS BEEN, IT IS AND IT CONTINUES TO BE.

And in other news, it’s clear that Ann-Margaret is definitely pregnant. Based on when I believe Elvis took care of business, she is due some time between September 23 and October 3.

And if that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your…

3 comments:

Linda said...

Girl.....it's hot here in the Midwest also!! 105 degrees was our record!!

Country Girl said...

Linda - love the comments. Means someone is actually reading...hopped over to your profile for a quick moment...author...mother...you must have your hands full...CG

Linda said...

Well, thank you, CG! You have a knack for writing yourself. I love reading your quips!